Blondes Have Thoughts Too

I just feel so alone, like there is no one for me. Like no one would ever be there when I need them. No one's calling me, my family's annoying and expects me to be there for them and never have to be taken care of by them. They want me to be there for them and then be a quiet mute, do nothing, feel nothing, be nothing, just a doll for them to vent at and make them feel better. No friends call me or want to talk to me. Maybe another time, maybe another time. I feel like I never have good timing, that whenever I need someone, no one has the time for me, that I have to put off my own feelings and life for them, for their busy lives. Even my boyfriend has problems of his own, and he's putting off supporting me for longer and longer time. I said I needed him this summer and he said after his classes. Then he says it would be easier when we're living together in the dorm next september and now he says that he's afraid of being to close to each other, that next year he's going to have hard classes and need more time for studying. Meaning: there's no time for you hon and your crazy mental problems.

I hate you all. Leave me alone, use me and abuse me, I won't ask for a thing, not a thing. I don't have the courage to, because the no hurts more than anything. The 'no, I can't help you, I have no time for your silly problems.'