Sunday, June 19, 2005
I'm Sorry
I'm sorry everyone, yes I'm home from school and yes i'm not calling any of my friends or talking to them online, disappearing from AIM just to stalk the away messages and profiles. I feel like such a bad friend and then I feel so alone and then I'm not even doing anything about being alone or anything.
There's just a lot of things happening with me. I'm going through a really bad time and I wanted you all to know this. I don't want you guys thinking I'm seperating myself from you after college and all that. I'm just having a real bad time. You can call it parents problems, whatever, but I'm pretty sure it's more than that. I don't really feel like talking about it too much, if you haven't noticed, from me staying away from all types of communication. I'm real sorry, again, I really am. I wish I could just get over it and hang out with you guys and talk on the phone but I just can't get out of my house right now. I just need some time.
I feel like I'm pouring out all these excuses. My bf even said that exact sentence, that he needed more time and it broke my heart. Luckily it was just a little more space and not break-up kinda space. He just has so much going on with his summer classes and all. I don't have good excuses like that. Just trust me, I can't talk about whats goin on and its really hard for me. God, shut up already. I talk too much.
Anyway, you don't have to forgive me, understand me, welcome me back like I never stopped talking to you guys or anything. I just miss you guys. I miss you. I'm going through a hard time and that's my only reason why I'm not really calling you or coming over. Don't stop yourselves from calling me or anything, I just can't get up the gall to call you. I'm just feeling.... oh I don't know. Don't ask. Ughhh, I hate how I can't just tell you but I'm a little confused anyway and probably overreacting, most probably overreacting. So ignore all I just wrote and just know:
I miss you. I'm sorry for not calling once I came home. I can't get out of my house because I just am feeling really bad. Sorry again.
There's just a lot of things happening with me. I'm going through a really bad time and I wanted you all to know this. I don't want you guys thinking I'm seperating myself from you after college and all that. I'm just having a real bad time. You can call it parents problems, whatever, but I'm pretty sure it's more than that. I don't really feel like talking about it too much, if you haven't noticed, from me staying away from all types of communication. I'm real sorry, again, I really am. I wish I could just get over it and hang out with you guys and talk on the phone but I just can't get out of my house right now. I just need some time.
I feel like I'm pouring out all these excuses. My bf even said that exact sentence, that he needed more time and it broke my heart. Luckily it was just a little more space and not break-up kinda space. He just has so much going on with his summer classes and all. I don't have good excuses like that. Just trust me, I can't talk about whats goin on and its really hard for me. God, shut up already. I talk too much.
Anyway, you don't have to forgive me, understand me, welcome me back like I never stopped talking to you guys or anything. I just miss you guys. I miss you. I'm going through a hard time and that's my only reason why I'm not really calling you or coming over. Don't stop yourselves from calling me or anything, I just can't get up the gall to call you. I'm just feeling.... oh I don't know. Don't ask. Ughhh, I hate how I can't just tell you but I'm a little confused anyway and probably overreacting, most probably overreacting. So ignore all I just wrote and just know:
I miss you. I'm sorry for not calling once I came home. I can't get out of my house because I just am feeling really bad. Sorry again.
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